A Thought or two on Marriage

Respect, Gratitude, Sorrow and Desire

Mutual respect is an essential component of a solid marriage. However, all manner of life circumstances can thwart the best of us and our functioning can collapse under the weight of stress. What to do? Before we criticize or behave in unbecoming ways, it is important to invest. Remember why you married your partner in the first place. 

Close your eyes, really; relax your eyes and think about your first years together. It is important to acknowledge when you're acting out that it might be due to a workplace snafu or out of control kids or a misunderstanding. Recalling those first years and the long ago expressed desire to grow old together can guide behavior back to a heart driven rather than ego driven attitude.   It is important to remember the desire to love your partner, even when you may feel nothing. Desire often returns with an investment in respect, gratitude, sorrow, and desire. 

If I am not respectful of my partner, I am not investing, and I am 100% responsible to address my shortcomings. 

If I am not showing gratitude that she made the bed or he cooked dinner, I am not invested, and I am 100% responsible to increase my validation and appreciation. 

If I am struggling with apologies, I may be stuck, and I am 100% responsible to seek out help around my ego driven behavior. 

If I lack a desire to love my spouse, I am not investing, and I am 100% responsible to get help, as thoughts, emotions and behavior can topple the best of us. 

Don't go it alone.